I’m going through a difficult clutter bust. I’m letting go of my Facebook account. I’ve been thinking of doing this for a while. Over time I’ve noticed it didn’t feel good when I was on Facebook. And that feeling lasted for a while after I would get off the website.
I kept with it even though it didn’t feel good. I think part of it was an addiction for me. I would post something and then look forward to getting likes. Plus there was a feeling of belonging. Most everyone I knew was on it. A lot of those people didn’t live near me anymore. It sort of felt like I was connecting with them. But it was a feeble attempt for me to connect. It actually made me feel more distant.
Essentially I like being in the same room with someone. I like my friend’s living presence. That’s why we’re friends, because it feels good to be in the same room. The second best feeling I get of being with a friend is when I talk with them on the phone. The third is through letters. But when I connect by reading and liking one of their posts, or they reading and liking one of mine, it feels hallow. It makes me feel lonely. I don’t mind being alone, but I really don’t like feeling lonely.
So I announced on Facebook that I would be deleting my account in a week. I gave myself a week so I could get contact information from people I want to stay in touch with.
I can feel the feeling of withdrawal even though I haven’t officially signed off. It’s physically and emotionally painful. I find myself wanting to eat a lot so I don’t feel the discomfort. But since I know what’s happening, it makes it easier to go cold turkey. I know that these feelings will pass.
It’s also a nice reminder that I’m doing the right thing. When something doesn’t feel right anymore, I feel a relief by letting it go. Plus I’m excited to see what comes from this clutter bust. I’m clearing the way, creating space for something that supports and fits my life.