It can be hard to consider ourselves first. It can take a lot of courage. I had a recent client who was scared to investigate the things she had stored for years in her basement. I said as long as that stuff wasn’t being looked at and questioned, she was making it more valuable than herself. She was protecting those things before herself.
I said that many of us have been taught that the things, people, and activities in our lives are more important than us. Because of that we don’t want to take a deeper look at what’s in our lives and how it affects us. As a result, we suffer.
I encouraged her to go down into her basement and take a look. She said okay. She went down into the basement. I could feel her overwhelment amidst the towers of boxes and bins. I helped her get her strength by having her pick a box, open it, pick up the first item, and ask herself, “Is this something I like and use, or can I let it go?” Once she took those actions, she got her bearings back. She was herself. She had put herself first.
I’ve had many clients feel empowered again by asking, basically, if that thing made them feel good today, or not. They put themselves first when they consider themselves and not the thing.
With this client, we went through one thing, then another, and another. All because she began valuing herself again. She was strong and confident in that attitude.
I encourage you to consider yourself first, and begin looking around at what’s in your life and asking if it actually serves you today or not. It can feel amazing to have the power dynamic back.